by Cinnamon Williams
I pledge my allegiance to the flag of the United States of America……
In society they force us to think that the Flag represents unity, freedom in a nation so great. Boys in blue are our brothers, heroes, saviors and protectors. White is better, white is undefeatable, white is white and white is right. The red, a figure for blood we shed.
Growing up we’re forced to believe the unimaginable.
Black is ..
Black is bad
Black was never good
Black is ugly
Black is dark.
Black is dark
Black is misunderstood
Black is enslaved
Black is unavoidable
Black is dangerous.
Dangerous
Cause we
Cannot wear hoods
Dangerous
We live in these hoods
Hiding
Dangerous
Cause
America turned
Their backs
Removing us from what we would never
Know to be as home
Stripping us
Of
Individuality.
Imagination.
Inspirations.
Dignity.
Fatherhood.
Motherhood.
Brotherhood.
Sisterhood.
The right
To be
Black.
Removed
Safety
Security
Replaced it with
Danger.
Cause one day
You’ll be too
Black
To make it
Home.
You’ll get shot down
By our fellow brother.
Brother in blue.
He’s been trained
Color blind
Black is red
When you move fast
Listen slow
Have an explanation
When your back is turned
When your hands are up
When you’re up against the wall
When you’re coming from the store
When you’re coming from your bachelors party
When you’re shouting you can’t breathe
When you’re stopped for failure to use a turn signal
When you’re reaching for your wallet to identify yourself
When you’re running for life and jump the roof
When you’re recording for your protection
When you speak up
When you look down
When all you see is blue.
Blue
Blue the color that hurts
Blue is sad
Blue is deranged
Blue is plague
Blue is worn by cowards
Avoiding to do what’s right
Doing everything white.
Demolishing, draining meaning
Of what Black truly is
To them we’re just red.
Black is
Helichrysum.
The first time I ever experienced poetry was in the fifth grade. The famous poem “And you call me colored” was one that caught my immediate interest. The poem was so complex and it made me think of where I actually fit in. I too sometimes turn pink in the sun. I began reading poetry books written by Langston Hughes, Edgar Allen Poe, Maya Angelo and collective poetry books. I wrote my first poem in fifth grade after entering a competition using poems my aunt wrote. When she found out, I was forced to create my own poems; I never turned back. Once I understood the true meaning of the way words can conform to a message, I couldn’t stop writing. Poetry has been my savior and I have been writing poems for about 17 years now. This piece is the first political one I’ve ever written. I am thankful for the opportunity to be able to create a piece dedicated to how it may feel to be a Black American in America at times, rather than just being a person here. The prenotion that Black people are dangerous has been flaunted, taunted and enforced throughout history. On a daily basis these past beliefs continue to linger and are implemented through governmental actions. The United States government has ensured the mistreatment, judgment and abuse of all Black Americans in this country, it just depends on where and with whom you’ll receive this treatment.
When I began writing this piece, it was first just another assignment. I was truly influenced to create a poem describing what it felt like to be a Black Man in America. But in reality how could I, if i’m not one. So then the urge to write about Black encounters with police derived. As I wrote the beginning of the poem I started to get angry. I began feeling the rage from my own previous encounters with police, from the news articles, Netflix series and overall discussions of police brutality. We all have an idea of what it is to be stopped by an officer. Do we really know what it means to be Black and stopped by police? The fear that reigns and clouds your judgment when you see flashing lights behind you or an officer stopping you? People who haven’t experienced it, do not know it. Time and time again we read, hear and see police interactions with Black people and how it has led to their deaths. I wanted to implement that. By the time I got to the middle of the poem, my heart raced and my blood thumped for Sandra Bland, Sean Bell, Amadou Diallo, Eric Garner, George Floyd, Kalief Browder, and all the other lost souls. I was filled with anguish. I knew that what I wanted and needed to say had to be powerful and come from the heart. What I did not know is that it would lead me here.
Notes on Contributor
Cinnamon Williams is a poet and a student at John Jay College of Criminal Justice of the City University of New York where she is completing a degree in Criminology.